FoOt PrInTs

me u

2012-02-05T22:38:00.010+08:00

was so bored on cny, i resort to spamming photobooth. hehe ^.^\/

gg to batam this wkend! ~

i know you guys dont like it,

i'll try to make it not so bad.

so wish me well :)

love you all.

haha..

2011-11-26T01:42:00.002+08:00

i am so unhappy, i have to write a post about it.

maybe it's work stress, cant believe he called me unreasonable. true enough his did make sense and sounded more reasonable enough. but i was hungry too. miserable pay of 500 but i dont even get OT pay. what can i do?

all i needed was someone to dote on me and coax me when im upset. in reality, im getting all the yelling and scoldings.

i think maybe im too childish for him. i really dont know how to be understanding at times. i aint thoughtful enough. i feel so ashamed of myself.

but i cant really take it anymore. and ya know, i really have this gut feeling if i were to give up this r/s, he would agree. thats how much confidence i have in him loving me - minimal. to a point i think he would let go easily too.

i really dont know what happened. the number of sweet things he do, is almost n now. no more pick ups, no more movie/dinner tgt, idk whats left of us. we dont even hold a proper conversation. i cant feel his TLC at all.

have i really not met the guy yet? why am i always struggling. i alr tried so hard to surpress my emotions/temper but recently it just goes off like RAHHHHH. i think its just me to be unreasonable and demanding.

you think so?

i think i need a break.

giving up

2011-11-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

lately i feel so vulnerable, i feel so weak. never been a person who gives up easily. but why isit when it comes to matters of the heart, i feel like a loser. once i sense the slightest pain, i get so scared, i try to numb myself. always so close to tears but i try hard to surpress. bottom line: i dont wanna go through that pain ever again.

therefore i end up wanting to avoid it by having the BU thought.

feel so helpless.

someone, tell me what to do?

HEYO!

2011-11-13T17:16:00.006+08:00

HELLO ALL!!!

celebrated grandma's bday today.
had buffet dinner at her house.
i could tell she was happy.
cos my second eldest cousin brought her BF!
my aunt was so worried that she couldnt find a partner initially -.-
nevertheless! i saw grandma's face lit up and it looked like ^0^
:) :) :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!
lovelove.

HOWEVER,
im kinda worried about my grandpa.
my grandpa story is rather complicated
so it's not really convenient to mention here.

the most worrying thing is just
that day he got lost while driving.
he was just outside at the prata shop
so he got off the car and asked for directions back HOME.
:( :( :(
and then, he kept forgetting where he kept his money
and accused the maid of stealing his money.
changed maid once alr.
this current one is gg to quit too.
:(
they even changed the lock alot of times
cos he misplaced the key?!!
:( :(
he keeps nagging these days.
like old aged pms.
poor grandma has to put up w him always.
sigh, how long can this continue?

it's just soo depressing to hear such stuff.

i really just pray and hope the best
for all my grandparents.
every single one of them.
that would be 4.

please please be well.

last but not least,
i really look forward to the USS trip w b this sat.
like we hardly spend a full day tgt.
IM GONNA TAKE TONS OF PIX HOR.

realised i've been really low profile about me being in a r/s
cos initially i wasnt sure myself.
but i guess now more of you know.
and i feel kinda bad that i didnt tell you guys earlier.
cos everyone's screaming at me like,
"OMG YOU'RE ATTACHED?!!
HOW COME I DIDNT KNOW?!!
DID YOU EVEN PUT ON FB?!!
THAT'S SO NOT LIKE YOU!!
AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW?!!"

yesyes everyone is saying.
but no, you're not the last to know. haha.
there're ppl who still dont know about it yet.

recent matter made me realise he care about me actl
and he put alot of trust on me.
however, he's really not v romantic la huh.
so sometimes just dont feel loved -.-
im still happy when i put in effort to brighten his day.
his smile is soooo.. cute.

i know what i want for xmas alr.
i want another string or chain to replace the current one
the current one is like cui. some 4 yr old string.
b, you got the hint? ;)

*WINK WINK*

PEOPLE, MEET ME SOOON.
INTERNSHIP VERY BORING YA KNOW.
VERY NO LIFE.

see yaaaaa :)

so busy

2011-10-21T01:51:00.002+08:00

i was so busy, i forgot about my blog.
to prove that it's not yet totally forgotten,

HELLO!
i'm up again doing assignments.

I AM SO TIRED.
I LOOK SO CUI AND FAT THESE DAYS.

i swear im gonna sign up for gym already.
this cant go on,
i cant even see my abs
well it doesnt matter
but i cant fit into my shorts anymore.

HOW SAD IS THAT.
:'(

YESSSSS
I GOT AN INTERNSHIP ALR.
SOOOO HAPPY.
i didnt even need to go for interview.
so happy for friends who found too.
i totally understand how it feels like to not have one yet.

feels like a totally shithole.
shall help friends out of that.
:)

okok back to work.
buaiz!

how cute a boy

2011-09-25T01:54:00.004+08:00

why does he make a face which is similar to mine below:

SO UGLY!!!!
sorry we got no proper photo tgt.
god knows why.
haha.

I MISS YOU B.

god i needa do essay.
i think i'll get more inspiration if i wake up tmr at 9 plus to do.
morning person :)

BEFORE I FORGET,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH PIG!!!!!
(as if he will see. haha!!)
he keep calling me part timer
like some maid.
zzzz.

gosh time fliesssss
4 YEARS ALREADY!!!
cant wait to attend benedict and stacey's 21st too.
that would mean seeing more of mahana
and having lotsa fun :D

miss dajie and all too :(
dajie bday cominggggg

GOSH CAN *YOU ALL* NOT
HAVE SEX ARND THE SAME PERIOD,
AND MAKE BABIES ALL IN THE SAME MONTH.

NO CREATIVITY.
HAHAHA.
ok im high alr.

every wkend from next wk onwards i have at least ONE bday party to attend.
im so brokeeee.
sobs.

I WANNA GO BALI LEH.
OR TAIWAN.
SIGH SIGH SIGH.

ONCE AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY EEVANN SEAH!
LOVE YOU SO MUCH
AS MUCH AS I LOVE RED ANGRY BIRD
WHICH I DONT LIKE AT ALL.
HAHAHAH.

hope his friends all celebrate for him. (he's too popular)
my bday only he brought me out. (i am a loner)
tell me how can not love him.

ok what nonsense am i blabbering idk.
too tired. this stupid project wk i didnt get to rest at all.
fuckkk.

ok time for beauty sleep
night.
love you whoever is reading this.

SERIOUSLY FUCK LA!

2011-09-13T00:23:00.002+08:00

things which built up to my SUPER PMS day:

-had to stay back to do project
nvm
-group mates struggling
okay.. nvm
-group mates taking too long
grr..
-mom called to scold say dinner's gonna spoil
wth?!
-still waiting
*slight headache*
-FINALLY DONEZ
alas!
-wanna meet bf, waited
why nv pick up calls??!

in the end i couldnt wait, i was famished and angry.
they say a hungry woman is an angry woman, indeed.
i headed home.

BUS WAS PACKED W PEOPLE?
EVERYONE SQUEEZED ME.
FML. FML. FML.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG MAN?!
freaking 10 and the bus is packed??

I AM EXTREMELY:
1. EXHAUSTED
2. ANGSTY
3. IRRITATED

RAHHHHH!!!!!!!
i need to sleep it off.
sometimes i wish my bf knew what i am going through.
praying hard bf back will recover soon.
night.

feel like..

2011-08-29T17:00:00.002+08:00

i cant be doing this.
could it be a mismatch?
omgzzz.

i find it kinda tiring.

how to treat paranoid-ness???
ITS LIKE IN MY GENES
got it from my mama.
-.-

is this like a symptom of depression
i always dont know why i feel the way im feeling
double omgzzzzz.

a week full of ups and downs

2011-08-25T23:52:00.002+08:00

this wk been quite a roller coaster
there're good and bad times
im starting to miss my best friends alr.

i wanna picnic, i need a toast of ahcar xiaoyu eevann etc.
some happy pills.
that night eevann called me to tell me a secret.
HAHAHA.
i jumped up in joy when i saw his name on the call ID.
sorry if i dont take initiative to contact my best friends
i really miss them.
wanna meet huiqi and ade for korean bbq
and WALA WALA. whatever pub that is called.
AND SHOPPING PLEASE :/

teehee, if you havent realise/know, i kinda sorta already quit clubbing :)

recently been hanging out more w christabelle and gang
celebrated rach's bday today
hmmmm kinda fun kinda awkward kinda exciting.

hope rach enjoyed her 21st celebration :)

been very long since i last did a proper post HOR.
i know.
im just lazy.

hmmmmmm..
im still lost.
actually why do we need a partner?
really?
now i start to feel there's actl no purpose/meaning to it
so do people get tgt for reproduction purpose.
i mean like ultimately thats the whole aim right.
to reproduce so human beings wont extinct.

im just being realistic/practical.

so feelings and all can just die really.
maybe its not that impt afterall.

are we supposed to be immune to feelings?
maybe that could make my day way better.

i wanna learn to do that
cos im too petty.
ya, not sensitive,
it's PETTY.

and ya, when im angry,
ignore me.
make me more mad.

if people dont communicate,
then whats the point of mediums like skype and msn???

argh.
really disappointed
maybe i could do better without expectations.

just do my thing.
and be immune.

27th

2011-08-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

last 15 mins
happy birthday b.

you're always on my mind :)

you

2011-08-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

i really miss you.

fml infinity

2011-08-18T23:05:00.004+08:00

OMG I AM SO RELUCTANT TO WORK ON SUNDAY!!!! WORKING FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT IS NO JOKE. fucking tiringzz. fml really. vivo shoppers better be kind to me. do my survey!!!

and im stressed out cos there's presentation on monday. clueless on how to do it. what the hell really........

fml fml fml fml fml.

actl im really not in need of that much $. sigh.

i can relate to this

2011-08-11T01:16:00.002+08:00

♥

michael-kors-spring-summer-2011-campaign-mario-testino

why uh.

2011-08-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

walao. i miss eevann. that day he made me so emo.

anw thats what everyone do. we grow up, move on in life, make new friends. thats life. been a good 4 years and seems like mahana know each other for forever. eventually not all stay tgt, and i know deep down me and atikah still like mahana. they meant sth to us, and they still do. gahhhh.

i wanna have picnic with ahcar and xiaoyu but seems like all my FRIDAYS SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS are burnt. louise kept begginggg me to work for her. rahhhh and the kind and soft hearted me couldnt refuse la. so just work? hope i dont die. sch groupmates please dont kill me :( now i need to be more focused on wkdays!

YAY NO SCH TMR! HAHAHA

:(

2011-08-02T00:15:00.000+08:00

sigh.

kinda confused

2011-08-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

dont know if it's supposed to feel this way.
now what i told eevann about r/s is coming true.
IT'S HAPPENING.. YET AGAIN.
just probably the other way round.
sometimes i feel really messed up inside.

i think i need to breathe, and take it easy.
just in case, just in case.. anything falls back.

idk? it's kinda unpredictable isnt it?

rahhhhh.

anyway sch started today.
met nydia, etc, zhizhi after sch
had a real good laugh over dinner
(wish times like these happen everyday :)

:(

2011-07-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

i suspect i have heart attack :(

JY.

2011-07-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

i like the way you hold me,
as well.

WHAT THE HELL?

2011-07-10T00:49:00.002+08:00

I AM BACK FROM KRABEE ALREADY!!!!
KRABEE WAS LIKE DAMN AWESOME?!

except the fact i suffered from sandflies bites
and im pretty emo-ish over that
cos friends are all telling me they leave scars.
WHY ME :(

KRABEE AWESOMENESS:

1. SUPER CHIO BEACHES & FISHES

2. SUPER DELICIOUS PANCAKES
i can keep eating the same flavoured cheese pancake at 3 different times of the day.
morning afternoon night.
REALLY DAMN GOOD.
when i came back i was craving for it.
cheese prata is nth compared to that.
im so gonna learn how to cook it.

3. SUPER BREATHTAKING SCENERY OF CLIFFS

4. SUPER CHEAP COCKTAILS/ALCOHOLS

5. SUPER CHEAP SHOPPING

6. SUPER CHEAP TRADITIONAL THAI MASSAGE/MANICURE

7. SUPER CHEAP AND DELICIOUS THAI FOOD FROM ROADSIDE STALLS
which doesnt give me runs :D

HOW AWESOME!!!!
really enjoyed this trip.
woohoo!
more photos soon.
till then :)

hot and cold

2011-07-01T03:20:00.002+08:00

you're hot and cold
like a kettle pot.

the extreme temperature is killing me.

cant have enough

2011-06-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

i like you.

anyway, i bought my camera already!!!
with my own hard earn money :(
LX5.
honestly damn sian
cos i've to pay for it myself
I FEEL THE PAIN.

please dont fail me LX5.

counting down to karabeeeeee!
:D

:)

2011-06-27T00:36:00.007+08:00

I CANT WAIT FOR KRABI!!!!
:D

i know you'll miss me.

worried sick

2011-06-24T22:56:00.003+08:00

while i was working for BD family day just now...
an unknown number called.

"hello is this ms ng shi hui?"
"yes, who's this speaking?"
"citizen clinic. your report is ready, you can collect it alr"
"HUH? SO ISIT ANYTHING SERIOUS?"
"yes"
"WHAT?! ITS SERIOUS?? WHAT IS IT???"
"no you must ask the doc"

WTF IS THIS.
THAT NURSE thinks health is a joke.
im like worried sick???
cos the doc say if its nth serious i can just collect next wk.
but suddenly clinic call to tell me report is ready???

okay now im really scared.
idk.
idk how am i supposedly to feel about this.
i dont wanna go for any operation :O :(
i dont wanna be on medication forever
i dont want to know im down with an illness or disease.

okay im paranoid
and it isnt helping.
tmr gg to collect report first thing in the morning
and then head to work at a hospital in yishun.

thank god clinic is in yishun too.

:( :( :(
been thinking about it
im really scared.
gahhhhhhhhhhhh :(

now my stomach feels like shit
indigestion from thai food just now
super painful :(

sucks to be me :(

i know if i say this ade and all will scold me
went to jp to meet eugene after work
cos my phone was left with 6% batt
and he offered to lend me his laptop to charge
so why not? :/

today work was super awkward
but for money sake
whatever luh
i have been listening to whole day of ji bai and kan ni na
for no reason they(shangyi friends) scold me too???
seriously ah beng ttgm
okay no they are ah beng -.-
i say he chiong work he also say ji bai????
wtf is wrong with them seriously
damn rude.
NVM I LUN!!!!!

tmr is another 11 hours with THEM.
OMG KILL ME PLEASE.
:(

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK
it just sucks to be me.

haiyoooo.

2011-06-23T23:33:00.003+08:00

i hate the way i keep tripping over the same stone. first time i fall i pick myself up and tell myself everything is gonna be okay. subsequently when i keep falling, i ask myself why? should i be changing path already? that faithful path seem so different from the start till now. it feels so different. every step i take i feel more insecure.

everything's changing; everything is not the same anymore.

what should i do? actually i know the answer but heart tells otherwise.

when will i meet someone who truely believes in me and what i say? do i seem like a liar? why does everyone not have faith in me??? utterly disappointed for that. why does the most down-to-earth people around get accused for being not truthful??? seriously. means actl you dont know me well enough.

omg i hate it!

ok i need to sleep. night!

chopping them off

2011-06-23T11:51:00.005+08:00

gonna chop the dry ends off.
abit of my perms will be gone :(
cutting my fringe straight so i can do both centre and side parting.

meeting wanlin later
before she fly off next week
watching treasure inn

i wanna watch green lantern :(
couldnt get anyone to watch w me ytd
paul is super busy
ming ming last wk alr told him wed.
zzzzzzzzzzz.

okok byeeeee.

work

2011-06-22T00:12:00.002+08:00

about ICANN, it was awesome. hahahaha. my colleagues can be quite humorous at times. honestly standing and ushering is no joke. freaking tiring.

but today somehow everything seem not so bad. maybe cos augus was there to entertain us. i could tell he was thinking damn hard on what cold jokes to tell us. a few was really good jokes. i find him alot like weihan, maybe cos of the built. but he seem to be so level headed in everything he does. he studies hard and play hard. we had two things in common:

1. we studied product design. but he was from np and from what he told me, his course is definitely better than sp's?! zzz i swear by that. he's gg to ntu mechanical engineering 2nd yr in august.

2. he also does cheerleading. how awesome.

i wish i studied harder :(

now that i made more contacts, im gonna get more jobs hopefully. hee.

just now we were invited to free flow wine, beer etc. i drank less than one glass of red wine.. BOOMZ. im all red already.

seriously my liquor tolerance decrease already. somehow im getting tired of all these. the last time i went club, was a bad experience. paid for entry, one hour and i was out of that place?

and weeks back two flaming lambos almost killed me. i puked. that was the second time in my life i puked alcohol. i cant drink that much anymore. not alcohol-trained anymore :( time to quit, time to quit, slowly..

i have been thinking alot about everything. i dont know why i actl say that. but i guess i want my face to recover and i want to settle down soon. i want to be really happy without having to rely on partying thrills.

so i tell myself, im open to choices. hahahaha. it doesnt matter if there isnt any, i just need to rid this bad habit of clubbing :)

goodbye ppl. tmr will be good :)

just felt like it

2011-06-20T20:23:00.004+08:00

just feel like being random on a monday night.
i am so tired.
boo.

things to do this wk:

-see a doc
.checkup to see if i have thyroids

-trim my hair
.probably keeping long fringe for centre parting

-facial
.oh did i tell you my mom invest 6k on my face already?

-catch a movie
.honestly need to get a life.

-paint my own nails
.wanna pamper myself

i wanted to mention but i keep forgetting
last wk eevann called me (how sweet of him),
tho he was just waiting for time to pass -.-
i told him i have craving for tapioca balls at maxwell food centre
we decided to meet last fri after my work to eat there.

then sth cropped up
cos i havent hand in my survey forms
and i HAD to, by 6.30pm.
but i was working for a event for another company that day.

(kind soul) eevann offered to help me
what an awesome friend
love him (as a friend)

sad to say the tapioca ball store close alr :( :( :(
had quite a good dinner
and to red dot museum for drinks.
i had monkey lunch, think it's baileys, malibu and banana and etc
eevann had sex on the beach.

me: "omg damn nice leh, you try!"
eevann: "not bad la, but the ending taste abit bitter"
*shows the yikes face*
me:"HUH???!! seriously?!! why does it taste so sweet to me...
like banana milkshake! I LIKE!!!"

LOL!

reason being: i burnt my tongue that morning.
and i think my tongue TOTALLY cant taste bitterness :/

HAHAHAHAHA.

so silly right.

elijah came to pick me up from red dot
went for tauhuey at jalan kayu.
freaking jam cos of an accident along highway
we were stuck there for 30 min.
seriously... zzz.

i think that was the happiest day of my wk
cos i havent seen them for ages
eevann and elijah still laugh at me for being a silly girl
after so many years
elijah say i havent change
i felt kinda pleased hearing that
everything that came from him sounded really good, pleasant and logical
i like the way he listens and reply to me.
even about my clubbing trips, he's totally cool
even tho i think he doesnt believe im cutting down,
and now i cant even finish one glass of alcohol
my whole face and body turn red,
but it doesnt matter.

i just need to know when i fall there'll be someone i can depend on
and pull me through tough times
instead of rubbing salt into my wound.

i am really really grateful i have helpful friends like them.
they are one in a million.
thank you you two for making my day last wk.
i went to bed smiling to myself, for being a very lucky girl.

SEE YOU TWO SOON PLEASE!

2011-06-19T22:42:00.001+08:00

you know what im gonna say about work. only rested one day this wk. been working for 6 days straight for 10 hours since tues. tonight my lower back is aching like hell.

whats worse, my grandma despite undergoing some eye operation saw my swollen neck. honestly i didnt realise? cos it didnt cross my mind: fat neck = thyroid.

gahhh now im feeling all depressed and paranoid. typical me. can only go to see doc for checkup on wed. cos thats the only day im off this coming wk other than thurs. seriously, what the fuck am i thinking hor? work everyday for fuck. fucking tiring.

okay actl i wanna save up for uk trip next year. manchester, london, paris, taiwan, bkk or wherever. just dont wanna spend my summer in sg again.

WTH when im in the mood to upload pics, blogger just have to fail me. where the fuck is the picture icon?!!! argh!

forget it. sorry ppl im really exhausted and if i dont reply constantly, call me k. best is night time. alright gonna crash since the freaking photo icon is down. night.

OWL NUT CASE

2011-06-13T00:31:00.004+08:00

DAMN CUTE RIGHT!!!
(even the button sticker eunice gave matches my case.)
SQUEALS!!
xoxo

but only a few days got scratches alr. ANGRY.
so im gonna sew a case for it, a case for a case.
how retarded, yes i know -.-

uncertainty

2011-06-09T01:39:00.003+08:00

opt for the safe, or challenging or neither?

i wish they came to my life earlier. but nevertheless they made it.

DO I REALLY NAG ALOT? :( I WAS JUST BEING CONCERNED. AND WAS I OVER CONTROLLING OR ANYTHING. thought i shld be the opposite. i honestly dont know whats wrong?

then theres this uncertainty but i was sure. but now i start to doubt too.

to be honest, i am afraid. please be nice to me? :(

if you would, that would be great.

otherwise, i would silently exit, and i will never come back, again, ever.

Cascada - Everytime We Touch

2011-06-09T01:24:00.000+08:00

chiong-ing

2011-06-09T01:18:00.005+08:00

i just found out this club called sparks was one of the most happening clubs 10 years ago? LOL.

http://blog.omy.sg/alvinology/2010/11/10/90s-sparks-disco-live-recording/

OMG SONGS LIKE BUTTERFLY?!!! 1997 songs leh hahaha cool.

and this is one of my all time favourite (the one above) :D

hehe

2011-06-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

i found someone who laugh at me being this.
CRAP

HAHAHA.

why standard?

2011-05-29T19:21:00.002+08:00

i feel im unpredictable. but ppl always pass me off as very predictable? really? sometimes i dont even understand why i do the things i do but i just feel its right so i do.

i cant escape how ppl think/feel about me. i feel kinda disturbed? i dont like that feeling of being judged. really sucks.

anw ytd was awesome but tired shit:

1. usual work from 6am-12nn at airport. finally the killiney auntie gave me correct order. that day clarence and me order the set A. we wanted tea and i wanted butter he had kaya butter. the actual thing? BOTH END UP TO BE KOPI AND KAYA BUTTER. WTF?! everything wrong! so ytd morning i was at killiney i complained to the auntie. auntie good mood called me pretty girl then still give me discount and it was the right order! it alr made my day. how awesome :D

2. shell brought me to the staff canteen after work. the food is so damn cheap and the portion i huge!!!! chicken rice SHIOK. that was the 3rd egg i had for the day :/

3. shell and me are both feeling good we went to the flea at home club. we had so much laugh we even overshot the train station. how stupid haha. the weather was effing hot i swear! was wearing maxi -.- haha. okay anw she bought quite a few items and return home very happy girl. me bought a vintage skirt for 10 bucks. fits me perfectly :D

4. ride a bus home bathed and slept for 2 hours? time for dinner, 4th egg for the day. SERIOUSLY. hahaha. love mom's cooking more and more.

5. prepare and head to overeasy!!!! hahah. wth man. i didnt drink for a month. YES I HAVENT CLUB/DRINK FOR A MONTH. SHOCKED? and i drank 2 glasses of canberry vodka i felt like i can fly like a G6 alr!!!! LOL. we were screaming at each other. and only after an hour or so, i realised taiyou was sitting at the table behind me -.-"

6. our plans to go butter was ruin by our dearest kok!!!!!! he freaking didnt bring i/c. how smart eh. if not we could have gone in after overeasy. anyhow, we ended up at helipad. pbff and his bigggggggggggg group of friends had like 7 bottles in the carpark man! we drank like free flow only. gross. finally we made it into the club then somebody have to start a fight. anw I MET RAYSON! he is totally not a clubbing person. poor boy.

human beings are superficial. one of the guy asked why i look so different last night (hot). i feel like replying him you also look very different in light and in dark (mohpeng) :/ then pbff replied him i always dress like an auntie. WTH MAN EVIL MUCH.

then theres his sgt, whom for the whole of last night thought i was pbff's gf?!!!!!! wth ridiculous. dont quite understand which part of us look like couple. point is sgt was rambling saying he got good taste (pretty).

I CAN FLY TO THE SKY........ HAHAHA. somehow it feels damn good.

i still wanna credit my F21 tube dress and "eyelashes".

but i was hoping i could see korean guys!!!!!! FAIL! sigh now you know the reason why i actually bother to dress up last night. I WANNA DRESS TO IMPRESS. FAIL TOTALLY. korean guys all gone(drunk) by then.

SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED HOME TO SLEEP AND REST SO I HAVE ENERGY FOR WORK TODAY MORNING.

but nevertheless for one of the few times i actually see dajie having fun HAHAHAH. cool shit. guess we had our own share of fun. except kok looks really bored. dajie kept saying eunice missed out the fun. HAHAHAH.

thank god i have wenzhen dajie and kok. awesome shit so i shant complain :D i know yall will be reading this. so chill out yo! let's do it again soonz. (OKAY DONT ROLL EYES OR SAY WHATEVER! HAHAHAHA) know all of you too well.

like shell say, we are really enjoying holidays. im loving holidays! work and play.

tmr gonna pick up the cute guy at serangoon and go airport tgt. i can alr imagine him scolding me. SOMEHOW i find it very difficult to talk to him. in a way he might be really unpredictable? and i dont wanna be under his "fuck face list". gosh. i think i shld just shut up tmr. he hates it when i whine. do i whine? maybe. but he annoyed me first, i swear.

okok shld sleep soon. night!!!!!

too bo liao

2011-05-26T17:13:00.000+08:00

bye!

i am waiting

2011-05-26T16:59:00.002+08:00

okay the title tells it all. im waiting for nydia goh yao li at home. thank god i only take 10 mins to go to cityhall.

she woke up at like 2pm? time now: 5pm. i told her to meet 5pm, then i think again, give her lag time, so i told her 4.30pm. still, she take roughly say approx 4 hours to prepare and travel to cityhall from the time she woke up. so she's gonna reach at say 5.45? (she says 5.25 tho)

now my mom is alr asking me if im having dinner at home.

oh well.... i could have nap for another 2 hours?

im so tired, but kinda like this kind of hectic life. at least im occupied almost everyday whether with work or friends. pity is i cant get time off to meet the ns boys on friday. sorry elijah, sorry rayson. oh and sorry paul. i need/want to work.

bye!

N

2011-05-23T00:16:00.003+08:00

two things i'd NEVER do:

1. flirt/hookup/fall in love with a guy who's attached

2. toy with a guy's feelings whom i've no intention to get tgt with

reason for 1. i know how it feels like for the gf. it's horrible how the gf might have to suffer? i cant live with that, totally.

reason for 2. i hate guys who hang me, so i dont wanna hang ppl. guess i'd rather not talk to him at all.

(precisely for that reason, all my veryyy close guy friends i know them for a minimum of 4 years? guess if they were to fall for me it'd have been way before. so no eevann paul or whatsoever please. tsk.)

ytd all the mahanas guys took turns to ask me if i was attached alr. so as usual they'll pass sarcastic remarks like "aiyo you like that of course nobody want.. blah blah..." EVIL MUCH! hahaha okay but im not petty, they know that.

just sad only. but somehow i've this feeling, i'll prolly be single? sometimes i even suspect im lesbian cos i did a personality test and i said sth weird. like really WEIRD. maybe im bi-sexual :/ I DONT KNOW MAN.

damn i just told someone off. how do you feel when you're kinda sorta serious about someone but that someone just like treat you as an entertainment only when he's suffering/bored. other times when he's out and free, he disappear and you wont even know. fucked up feeling. couldnt take it just have to tell him off. and i really cant be bothered anymore. this is it. move on.

guess i've no time. or rather i've much better things to do.

really need to crash my eyes aint functioning anymore. night.

work

2011-05-14T02:20:00.001+08:00

sorry my dearest friends
recently i've really been busy w all sorts of japalan temp jobs
some pay high some pay average
all i can say is,
i
am
tired,
very.

sorry if my replies sound DAO/hostile.
they werent mean to be.
it just means
im caught up w some work.

sorry!
best timing to call will be after 11.
calling is more effective than anything else!
then again if i dont pick up, leave me a text.

i just suck at multi-tasking.

i just realised my whole holiday is packed w weird jobs.
hope bf is gonna be fun.
ps. it's not BOYFRIEND.
okay wait before that, i hope i get the job.
will not say what it is,
cos everyone will start judging again.

even then, butterfactory door bitch earn so much.
IM JEALOUS.
HAI.

this month i hope i earn above 2k!
im halfway there alr.

MONEY PLEASE FALL FROM THE SKY!

i regret arguing w my mom about krabi now.
why isit that truth proves she's right about everything?
did she just put a curse or sth.
HAI.
REGRET REGRET, REGRET MUCH :(

i wanna have fun tmr.
byebye!
maybe next wk i shld take a break from all the jobs.
C-U-I.

fucking fucked up

2011-05-11T22:22:00.003+08:00

KNNBCCB. FML.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG W MY MOM MAN? SERIOUSLY?!!!

i swear i tried to talk to her damn nicely. she's just super paranoid? like if im paranoid x1, shes X 10000000000 A ZILLION!!!!

SHES MAD. SHE DOESNT EVEN GIVE A REASONABLE REASON FOR NOT ALLOWING ME TO GO KRABI. WTF?! ALL SHE KNOW IS TO THREATEN ME WITH MONETARY TERMS AND MATERIALISTIC STUFF.

first she say i cant go, if i insist on gg, she wont sponsor me. fine.

next moment she see me surfing about hotels, she went insane and screamed at me and threatened to ask my dad to cancel the booking at rws this wkend. and insist that i dont go krabi.

REALLY?!!!!! SERIOUSLY?!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS THIS????????

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG TO DESERVE ALL THESE?!

first my friendssssssssssss, then my mom.

should i just die and solve everything?!

FUCK!

FUCK MY LIFE.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

2011-05-09T03:50:00.002+08:00

am super good girl once again.
stayed home and cleared my wardrobe.
STILL ALOT OF CLOTHES THO :/
am gonna sell at the flea this coming sat.

this coming sat am so busyyyy, like totally.
1. i gotta drop by SCAPE to put my clothes in the morning
2. have to work at great world city
3. go back to the flea to check on my clothes?
4. thomson to cindy's bday party
5. meet shell and hailey at rws for some threesome

think by the time i reach rws hotel i will be like half dead???
sure K.O.
tell me about monopoly.

in the first place friday i have 2 jobs on hand
9am-4pm at suntec as an event helper
5pm-9pm at great world to promote bulmers
just like a busy somebody who's really desperate for $$$
i need/want to travel with my own $ and shop with my own $
guess it's time to start to be independent
tho ppl always say ", but you're rich blah blah"

BUT NO.
must kick that habit to anyhow spend my PARENTS' money
and i must learn to earn and spend my own $ more,
now that im alr 21...
must get used to it.

ANYWAY I WANNA SAY
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!
to my mom.
that was the first thing i screamed
in the house this morning :D

today i had 2 rounds of choc cake,
reason being:

1. celebrated mothers' day at grandparents' place :D :D
it's cute how my relatives all gather at the same place
to discuss about the results of this yr's GE.
i think what my mom said did make sense,
and apparently if i were to vote 5 years later,
i'd be riding with the lightning.

honestly cant imagine what were to be of sg if the reverse ever occur.
no lightning?
die.

2. we gave shella a bday surprise.

okay it was quite fail in a sense cos:
- we didnt know which dress she like so we settle for getting f21 vouchers
- her fav cake, which is my bday cake, sold out already, so we make do w st leavens,
it was still awesome tho :) :)
- we didnt know what bus to take to her house from town, so we took bus 5
cos that's the only bus i know. best thing? we didnt know where to alight.
thank god there's iphone's MAP app.
still we alighted at the wrong stop -.-
- we had to walk damn farrrrrr and we took a good half an hour or so to find her block???
(we were at bukit merah view, henderson secondary area)
- we both aint good with lighter and we were both afraid of lighter but bo bian,
for shell, anything la! haha.
- i shouted robbery, hailey said delivery! end up cynthia came out and shella wasnt at home!!!
ULTIMATE FAIL........ have to blow the candles.
- cabbed to wherever she was, went to and fro got the wrong block and storey. -.-""""""
- when she finally came down, the wind just kept blowinggggggggg out the candles
note: we really really hate/detest lighters

but nevertheless we managed to surprise her.
at last! at 11pm, about exactly an hour before her bday end.

LOVE YOU SHELL!!!
WE KNOW YOU LOVE US TOO :D

okay have to sleep byebye.

MBS

2011-05-02T22:18:00.010+08:00

we girls went MBS sky park pool ytd
hehehe
just one word, awesome.

i keep thinking the background looks like new york city.
so fresssh. love it.

this was near sun set
the scenery is just breathtaking!

me holding hailey's cocktail - "canberry something"
HAHAH.

meiyen kept laughing at this photo.
then again, its cute! HAHA.

it was drizzling when we first arrived - explains the towel.
totally spoiler >:( but we still look happy. LOL.

THIS IS US 4!

WE ALL WISH EVERYDAY WAS LIKE VACATION
just like this.

honestly doesnt feel like we were
stuck in this pathetic island called SG.

if only!

music

2011-05-02T01:50:00.002+08:00

listening to david choi songs can make me feel and even cry, it's just indescribable. amazingly stunning to me.

by my side

2011-05-02T01:24:00.002+08:00

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking,
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take,
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

All the fears you feel inside,
and all the tears you cry,
they're ending right here.
I'll heal your heart and soul;
I'll keep you oh so close.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

No one else will ever do.
I got a stubborn heart for you.
Call me crazy, but its true; I love you.
I didn't think that it would be,
you have made it clear to me.
You're all I need.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

isnt this song just beautiful?
love it.
just share another one,
titled that girl

Oh, tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone, just wasting time
No Friday movie nights
Or romantic candle lights

I'm just having conversations
With the thoughts in my head
All I hear are angels crying
Oh, won't they just sing instead
It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Honestly, this won't do
How is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
But I know I'm such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning
But you know I don't feel that way
Who will take all this pain away?
I know it's wrong for me to say
I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Talk about a sin
Was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time
I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

bored stiff

2011-04-30T16:22:00.002+08:00

the title speaks a thousand words. so boredzxzx. gosh.

am super good girl today. homie, on a saturday. amazing isnt it?? HAHA. yesyes, DONT JUDGE ME. no one asked me out cos everyone's busy w exams. all my smartie pants friends. either that or i just have no friends. boohoo.

shell decided to push the swimming date to tmr. cant wait for tmr tho. SQUEALS. haha. the thought of chillin at MBS sky garden pool is just heaven. like a atas somebody. LOLOL.

recently i've been hot and cold. and things forced me to bring my stupid temper out of the house. i always lose my cool to my friends. honestly some of the things they do really irritate me. but i wont be angry for long. (if you know me well enough, im never angry overnight.) if it goes beyond mins, hours, or dayss, then it's gonna be hard. i can be cool but you know those are times when it's just stored in one corner of my mind. but again good thing is i have really poor memory so it depends. selective memory.

then it triggers me to think, so am i at fault? i highly think so. and i blame it on my stupid short temper.

i guess if im really angry, you know i am cos im never usually angry. my friends would be shocked if i said i confronted and argued w my boss. cos im so timid if i have the courage to do so, it means it's beyond my tolerance. and i just cannot tahan!!!!

just wanna say sorry if i ever lose my temper and cool to you, my friend :) i know i suck but everyone has flaws. it's good to know what they are. at least you can explain for some of things which happened.

ps. and dont ever talk about it to me anymore. i'd just brush it off. cos it was kinda, sorta, disappointing? period

maybe i shld go down to swim. eh i hope dad get me a room at rws next wk. heeheehee. we girls can have our own party.

am thinking of getting reb and her bf and paul to use up the voucher which wilson gave me for my bday. it's a voucher - lunch or dinner for 4 at carousel. geez. and paul is not my somebody. it's just he treated me to tony roma and movie so i guess it's only right if i treat him too. as for reb's bf, it's to make sure he's super uber ultra nice to reb. really cant think of anyone else to have the lunch or dinner with. cos it wont be fair. humpf. only 4. zzzzz.

byebye!

SAY "BLAST!"

2011-04-24T23:43:00.007+08:00

WHEEE!
long holidays is finally here! :D
awesome-ness!!!

gonna look for a job at the same time
to earn some $$$ :D :D

till then! :)

I CAN LAUGH IN MY SLEEP!

2011-04-20T23:09:00.009+08:00

i am so happy. i am crazy. i think i can laugh in my sleep. HAHAHAHA. fuck! too happy. tmr is the last presentation already!!! this week has been really fucked up cos of all the miscommunication in submission dates and presentation dates. like it makes you think, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG W THE SCH SYSTEM???? fucked up, all the way.

and honestly, i havent been slping well these days. i cant slp. i have been having nightmares but im so tired, i forgot if i was having nightmare or slping. i really dont know? HAHA. stupid or what right.

i hate to say this. i know shell will read this. but all the things that are happening to her, happened to me 2 years back? and i dont wanna rmb how it felt like to be slashed in my heart. i dont wanna recall how many sleepless nights i had i was so afraid of losing i couldnt sleep and wake up feeling so scared. that feeling is like ULTIMATE SHIT HOLE. been to hell. but it's true, what doesnt kill you make you stronger. but you know it's there, this little corner where you'll still rmb how all the shit almost took your life away. really need lotsa loving to fill it up again. just to build everything up from zero again.

really cant blame it if that person isnt meant for you. but cheating????? gg out w a girl to the movies behind your gf's back? i think i was too innocent huh. wasnt suspicious enough to suspect anything. how dumb. haha. that WAS me. far way too gullible.

PLEASE DONT EVEN TRY NEXT TIME? BREAK UP BEFORE YOU EVEN TRY TO HOOK SOMEONE ELSE UP. FUCKED UP. I CANNOT TAKE THIS. I WANNA PUNCH HIM ALREADY. GRRRRR.

worst thing indeed is knowing your best/good friend took him away from you. no matter how kind/nice she is, when it comes to relationship matters, two words for her: FUCKED UP!!

OKAY I REALLY BUAY TAHAN. VERY DULANZ.

RAHHHHHH!!!!!! OKAY ENOUGH.

SHELL YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE! LIKE WHAT BINI SAID, YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!! YOU GO GIRL. LOVE YOU TO THE GREATEST MAX. YOU'RE A STRONG GIRL AND YOU WILL SURVIVE IT! XOXO. SMOOCHES.

now back to being happy and celebrating.

i am gonna drink till i drop this wkend! cant wait to attend parties! cant wait to club! cant wait to meet paul for movie! I AM GONNA HAVE FUN!!!!

wish me luck for my last lap tmr! i love you!!!

you just cant get enough of me,
since you're reading my blog!
haha!

NIGHT!!!! :D

LONDON BABY!

2011-04-18T23:03:00.003+08:00

ZOMG!!!
I CANT WAIT TO FLY TO LONDON!!!
GONNA GO THERE FOR LONDON GRADUATE FASHION WEEK...
AND SHOPPING!!!

RAHHH..!
NOW I REALLY NEED A FRIGGIN' CAMERA!
SHELL SAYS CANON 1100D?

I AM SO SO SO SO EXCITED.
NTH ELSE MATTERS NOW.
I JUST WANNA FLY THERE, NAOOO.

AHHHH!!!!!
WONT MISS THIS CHANCE.
MISSED ONE TRIP TO JAPAN LAST YEAR
AND REGRET MUCH :(

LONDON IM GONNA COME FOR YOUUU!!!!!
MWAHMWAH.

:/

2011-04-08T23:29:00.007+08:00

sorry for spamming pics of me.
couldnt help it :/

omg, i spent alot today.
so dead.

and all e 21st are coming!
my bank is depleting ~
BOOMZ.

overall im a happy girl this wk
thank you :)

gonna drink till i drop tmr
at heli w pbff & eun eun & wz etc..

before that shop w mommy
at chong pang <3
(i've yet to buy dior's mascara,
been living on sasa's. cui.)

today my phone hit the highest rate of ppl
texting me for some reason.

now i have to do some sch work
so i can enjoy my wkend.

i love shell. she's bringing me to
elle's makeup masterclass this sun.

XOXO!

chill

2011-04-04T23:52:00.002+08:00

now i wanna tell myself to chill.
gonna do work already..

i need to meet a few this wk,
but i still have projects to rush!
sorry oli, PT, eun eun and nydia.

I CANT WAIT FOR HOLIDAYS!!
RAHHH..!

writing you off :)

2011-04-04T23:41:00.003+08:00

i was actually very angry? it's alright if ppl who dont even know me at all or ppl whom dont know me well enough, judge me. but you? i guess it's pretty much cos you matter to me. and now on, i suppose it's all very obvious. you really have sth against me. and you judge me. what more can i say? after knowing me for years if this is what you can make up of me then so be it? really disappointed.

recently im starting to think the problem really lies w me. but i tried, i really tried to be the perfect girl. and im really tired. so go ahead and judge and say whatever you want. cos i aint worthy of your friendship love care and concern.

bye.

dream girl

2011-04-03T15:16:00.001+08:00

i wanna be your dream girl.

stop trying already

2011-04-03T14:41:00.002+08:00

this is my last straw already. quite tiring. i shld just quit trying.
no expectation = zero disappointment.

sheeesh i missed a chance ytd. damn!! i wanna slap myself.

half a year and im getting abit sick and tired already.... like i'll get bored in the midst when everyone's gg crazy, high on alcohol. i just stop and watch everyone -.- goshhh and i keep checking time. guess time passing too slowly. its a sign..

ytd i was waiting for cab outside my condo at 10plus. it was damn hard to get a cab cos everyone was changing shift. and i waited for quite sometime before an angmoh walked out from my condo and asked sth like if im waiting for a cab. so we were both flagging for cabs. you know i always anyhow try. i flagged hired cabs also. then suddenly this cab stopped. think its some angmoh passenger, he said he's gg to mariott hotel. WTF -.- QUESTION MARK. so i said nah its okay. my angmoh "neighbour" looked at me and said THATS WEIRD. hahahah.

finally when i saw a green light cab, i asked where he's gg. he replied st james and asked where i was gg. i said zouk. HE LET ME BOARD/TAKE THE CAB FIRST. SO NICE!! HE IS CUTE. but why st james -.- haha.

so much friendliness & kindness, abit overwhelming cos not used to it. but it's really nice of him. he made my night.

let go

2011-03-26T16:19:00.003+08:00

once it's of no value to you, just let go. why hold on when it doesnt mean a thing anymore. people forget and move on to greater things. it's time i do so.

on a side note, MY FACE IS CUI TTGM :'( I WANNA CRY.

that day i spent another 150 on doctor again.

yes im back to seeing the doctor after 1 yr.

when will my face be better again?

DREAMS VS AMBITION

2011-03-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

bill's PR class is always so inspiring. let's just say he is really good at what he's doing. today we side-track and discussed about career.

he said, "dream is just a dream. ambition is a dream with a plan. so stop dreaming, and start doing."

like WOW.

besides, he also added that it's okay in life you dont know what you want YET. cos you will have alot of hobbies. just choose the one you're best at/love most, and make it work.

GOSH. dont it just touch on your heart.

(bill used to work as a part time model when he was much younger cos he's tall. LIKE OMFG?! TOTAL COOLNESS. and he has done hosting, acting, singing with mediacorp. WHO CAN BEAT THAT??? now he is teaching and doing theatre as sideline. apparently as he grew older, he realised that it is more practical to work at PR firm cos the pay is higher and it's what he LOVE! OMG I WANNA BE LIKE HIM. SO COOL. HE IS MY IDOL NOW.)

then it set me thinking. i've been wanting to take up pole dancing for very long. i've always think that the pole might be one of the best buddy i'll ever have. well, but if i just keep dreaming and not executing, i'll never do it right? SO, this coming holiday, im gonna pick up pole dancing already. to keep fit and have a hot body. (hopefully skinner thighs) yep gonna tell mommy im taking up YOGA. HAHAHAH. you know old ppl cant accept yet still.

and my plan for 3 month holiday is to work for many many events over short period of time! earn quick bucks! best if i can travel but i doubt so luh. im sucha pussy. im afraid i'll die somewhere far away from home!

today paul is really ultra nice tho we did bully and abuse each other as usual. he got this free MEGA MEAL at tony aroma so we went to eat. damn freaking full after eating! couldnt even finish. think that was meant for 4 persons -.- HAHA. accompanied him to ph to show face to his friends and signed the friends in, and im home.

WTH MAN. MY PHONE DIED AT 3PM?! HOW DUMB. SERIOUSLY. SO TECHINICALLY W/O PHONE FOR NEAR TO 10 HOURS WAS TORTUROUS?! ZZZZZZ.

I WANNA CLUB TMR NIGHT LEH.

ok byebye!

coincidental

2011-03-25T00:58:00.002+08:00

i was trying to get my bro and his friends a part time job. one of his friend added me on fb but i thought it was my friend. COS THE NAME SO COMMON. after i add i realise it's my bro friend. pretty cute and sporty guy... THEN I ANYHOW CLICK "BROTHER" on the friend's profile... WA, CUTE ALSO. tsktsk.

and my bro heard me repeating this song, Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina - Stereo Love. he commented, the friend's brother also like this song. my bro went to their house and he was listening to this.

HOW COINCIDENTAL HOR. LIFE...

any.

2011-03-23T01:45:00.002+08:00

realised my blog used to be much more interesting w all the baking and stuff. instead of bombarding my space w emo stuff i might as well make it a better place. like really talk about stuff.

but recently im too lazy. still in search of a camera! :( buying a G12 in the end might be just as retarded. cos so many ppl have it already! zzz.

ok i shld stop. will do a proper post soon.

how to be happy

2011-03-11T15:49:00.002+08:00

can anyone teach me? enlighten me on how to be happy all the time? to feel good about myself and everyone.

today is another day im so bitter about life. everything isnt gg well. im sick and everyone is so busy and caught up w their own lives. i really feel horrible. i feel so lonely.

tho as superficial as it may be, partying is the only thing that will make me happy nowadays. happy to a point, i think i can break down on the dance floor anytime. really. idk. what the hell is wrong w me again right?

really think i always expect too much from ppl. but what im doing, i have my reason. in turn everyone keep blaming me, like i shouldnt be doing this. tell me what should i do? tell me what to do then i will do. im seriously sick and in a very bad mood. not that i like to throw temper at ppl. but fuck luh huh. nobody cares about how i feel anw. everyone is selfish.

i type one whole paragraph, but i dont know what im driving at either. cos im just vexed. i need to rant. furthermore i dont know who is reading my blog. if i mention names, ppl are gonna judge me and blacklist me.

I REALLY HATE TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT WHEN I TREAT THEM LIKE DIAMONDS. AND PPL WHOM I TREAT LIKE SHIT, TREAT ME LIKE DIAMONDS. WHY.

im really fed up. i really wanna watch movie. but it sucks when theres no one to watch with. walaoeh knn how pathetic can i get right. maybe i should go watch alone HOR.

FUCK.

MUAH.

2011-03-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

you two made my day.

first

2011-03-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

after posting my 21st photos on fb, it's the first time i get sooooo many notifications. gosh! cant believe it. (thank you :))

that aside, i've been having nightmares. O M G ? i think god is punishing me. sigh im rly scared. idk what the fuck i've done over the wkend and im totally freaked out cos i couldnt believe all the stupid things i did -.- fell aslp and woke up in great shock after 15 mins of nightmares last night :( RAHHHHHH I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF. I WANNA CRY. I SUCK :( I SHOULD STOP PLAYING AND TRY TO BE MORE DECENT :( I HATE MYSELF....

sometimes i rly have no idea what im thinking myself and doing. WTF IS WRONG W ME.

i must drag eevann w me whenever i go club. im so scared :( sigh.

feeling sick already. after all the long nights and work just now. goodnight all. sorry if i havent been good.

THIS IS

2011-02-24T01:58:00.001+08:00

this is what CCS stands for.

and im doing a 1200 word essay draft

which im barely halfway through.

fudgeee :)

PYJAMAS NOT.

2011-02-22T18:18:00.017+08:00

just did my ccs presentation today!

and i wore this top.

IT (USED TO) BELONGS TO MY MOMMY.

you can imagine how petite she was,

or rather how much weight i've gained.

mardy and meiyen said i look like MY AGE today.

today wearing this made me look 21.

isit good or bad? sheesh

i dont wanna think about turning 22 :(

(PS.MY PERMS ARE BECOMING SO PRETTY THESE DAYS.

NO MORE AUNTIE! TOLD YA IT WOULD WORK :D)

sorry this is just me being me.

this is what i do in between study breaks :/

sexxx

2011-02-21T11:50:00.005+08:00

http://www.ray-ban.com/singapore/products/sun/RB4132?var=710/51

this is sex. (i saw a replica at accessorize tho. damn chio!) this might be what im gonna buy using the vouchers i received as bday present. i like the design. naise..

im still lazy to blog about cny my bday and stuff. yesyes im lag. but quite busy recently. this wed i'll be done with all 3 presentations. wish me luck! :) by then i'll really sit down and blog!

see yaaa

how

2011-02-12T00:01:00.001+08:00

im kinda afraid now. am i suffering from depression.

i suck. this sucks.

IF

2011-02-11T23:00:00.002+08:00

i told you im unhappy, would it make a difference?

probably not.

a girl w weak heart like me shldnt even have this "big" thing in the first place. i just created alot of trouble for myself. why so stupid right?? mom' right about me.

maybe, just maybe, if i hadnt have this, it would have just been another day. or rather, it might be the first yr i stop celebrating bdays. no one would give a damn cos everyone has their own commitments.

i sound pathetic. i know right.

now that explains for the need of a special someone. i look around me and realise actl everyone has their special someone! how can this happen to me. it's so cruel ah. sigh. i think sooner or later i'll be driven into desperation to.. gamble or what uh. (i learnt this in class today) okay nvm about that.

i sound so emo when im supposed to be excited. what the fuck is wrong w me? pms maybe.

i really need to learn, to be selective now. and to be on my own. cos friends always say they'll be there for you. but they have their own commitments so they wont look you up just for tea or anything.

so when im bored, i just go to movies myself. laugh and cry to myself. i sit in the fast food restaurant alone looking at ppl give me weird stares. i run errands on my own, like i always do.

im tired already.

this wk the only few person who made my day esp were bryan, clarence, raymond, huiqi, and eevann. i would probably go mad w/o them. i notice how much i need them and i cant live w/o. this sucks, but i trust they'll always be on my side.

bryan came to fetch me after sch on monday and he drove me to run errands, watch movie, dinner, ice cream. he rly made my wk started off well.

well actl i shld be thankful and stop complaining.. im rly paranoid. just cos im kinda emotional doesnt give me the reason to be angry and stuff.

thanks for past, sorry for now, byebye forever? :)

need you now

2011-02-10T02:00:00.001+08:00

bryan's singing to me over the phone now..

sweet.

WHEEPEEWHOOPWHOOP

2011-02-06T20:32:00.008+08:00

hello! hope you guys had a great wkend and cny cos i did! :)

1st day: the usual thing breakfast at paternal grandparents hse. and to this relative hse w the very very cute dog. afterwhich my maternal grandparents hse. and back to paternal for late lunch and i stayed till dinner at 5plus. home. well it was a day i rot alot but i felt good arnd ppl :)

2nd day: visit da gu's place, then ah pek's. and to paternal's for lunch. everyone's there. we went to 3rd uncle's hse nearby and my hse was the last stop! haha. hmmm well, had time to slack and i met kenyon for dinner. his so-called candle light dinner bday treat for me at this italian restaurant prego at raffles place shopping centre. it was awesome. its a pity he's flying off on 12th to aussie. he will miss my bday party!! so 21st bday,

1. LOVE FROM KENYON LOVE

we waited till late before gg to zouk and phuture was full by the time we wanted to go in? headed to ph w the group of ppl and yeah the usual ph is sucky. i dont like. and there were 2 drunken guys whom the rest had to take care of. kenyon went home :(

3rd day: thank god i dont have to wake up at 8am like the previous 2 days. hehehe. i practically nua the day away. at night family dinner at carlton hotel near city hall. 8 course meal. i am so gonna be fat. the food was actl damn good except everyone kept complaining about how small the lobster is. the boiled sharks fin soup was, heavenly i swear. i can still rmb the taste. we only do this once a year and it really feels good. at least i do :) bro is kinda dumb to arrange project at 8pm -.- he was very late cos dad dropped me off at fullerton first. hahaha. anw butter is retarded luh. electro. not nice. we went to phuture in the end. and stupid me? they were holding a cake throughout which i thought was for kok. end up they celebrated my bday too so,

2. LOVE FROM DXPD LOVE

yep, guess its always more fun at phuture. bumped into kenyon again! and a few others. brought fat boy along w me and everyone kept asking if he's my bf. like no?! he's my younger brother's age! haha.

okay today i rot the whole day. i swear i didnt wanna club this wk. no feel. but well, i still went right. you ppl shld not tempt me to go club. bad influence.

back to school already tmr! upload photos of cny soon. now abit of me, cos i was too bored :/

thank you kenyon. thank you part of dxpd.

HAPPY CHEENA :)

2011-02-03T00:35:00.003+08:00

HELLO ALL!

today is another day i found happiness and peace within me. just for simple things to make my day. i guess i've always love cny but i havent felt it this yr until this morning. well this is the only yr i did last min shopping and it sucks. for some reason i couldnt find clothes that i pretty much love to wear for cny. got them at last tho, so happy! :)

and im super good girl. im staying home to get my beauty slp for tmr :) just finished sewing this cushion cover not long ago. and yep a sense of accomplishment. my dad says its bad sewing -.- but who cares. he thinks its easy esp when the cushion is oval shaped -.- not the normal sq one.

okay sth happened during dinner just now at grandparents place. this uncivilised boy next door was yelling at my grandpa, cursing him to die and stuff. wtf?! sigh but apparently my grandpa is getting old and hmmm he got a pretty bad temper, so idk. give in to him as much as possible. in my eyes he's still the very family orientated grandpa. love.

alright, gonna slp to have a great awesome cheena new year later.

PS. MY BDAY IS COMING! :) irony i dont have plans on my actual birthday? and i had better stay home on v day. its cruel... hahaha.

love

2011-01-30T16:13:00.002+08:00

learn to love everyday.

i make myself numb to love everyday.

honestly this wk was pretty awesome.

went out w huiqi on monday. we shopped dinner and watched shaolin. ANDY LAU IS SO HANDSOME. hot stuff. somehow in the movie he's damn attractive. i like. home at 12.

tuesday came home i guess. cant rmb.

wednesday was a freaking long day. to the bank w parents to settle stuff. had feifei wanton at geylang and rushed back for facial. OMFG. hahahaha i went to class at 5.30pm w my face so swollen and red. like wtf right. hahaha stupid. i was like trying to cover my face but i got busted! haha ya laugh, laugh more. lesson ended at 8.30pm? haha then it was the night to havoc. ahhahaha. home and went out bare-faced again. how daring can i get. honestly cant be bothered. i swear i look scary w all the red spots. HAHAHAHA. zouk. bumped into kl and blahblah. it was pretty fun. it's weird how i cant fall aslp at 5am after sucha long day.

being a morning person i woke up early on thursday -.- 9? or 10? yeahhh. thursday ended lesson at 8.30pm and bryan came to fetch me to timbre for like drinks and buffalo wings. white wine. honestly good. im starting to like white wine now. havent seen bryan for damn long. and im glad he initiated to meet up and well! he volunteered to sing and dj and mcee for my bday party! hahaha. love him la.

fri i was home la! super good girl.

yesterday i went yuyao bday party! haha it was awesome cos i met kerine and david and another few new faces. heheh. his place is super ulu tho. then to zouk w stacey. eevann and his grp of friends are just super funny ppl. and yep. that's pretty much everything.

thats my wk. and later im gonna send celestine off at the airport! goodbye!

need to start doing work. need to start doing work.

being made use of again

2011-01-25T01:30:00.002+08:00

he's always doing this. i should have seen it coming. anyway, go take a look at his car, and if you like, then click the like button?

sucks to be me.

Dear friends, can you help my friend to vote, he needs all the votes he can get!
Like the burnpavement profile first,
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Burnpavementcom/118019511552047
then like the photolink!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=184866704867327&set=a.184866574867340.40295.118019511552047

thank you so much!

coming home

2011-01-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming

what to expect

2011-01-23T19:11:00.002+08:00

times when i feel like my life is a straight line.

times when i wish i was earning big bucks and driving a BM.

times when my stomach hurts for no reason.

times when im procastinating and not doing work.

these are times when im so bored, i think about nth but everything. stbm.

I KINDA DISLIKE SCHOOL NOW :( sigh. would you please keep me gg? would you?

me; the world doesnt evolve arnd me.

2011-01-23T16:16:00.011+08:00

'cos tonight im loving you.

2011-01-18T01:30:00.002+08:00

WHY AM I SO ADDICTED TO THIS SONG. it keeps playing in my head. ahhhh this is bad.

my timetable is super duber slack. once again today only 1 and 1/2 hr lecture which i only watched video. -.- tmr is quite a long day but it starts only at 1pm. zzzz. and wednesday only 3 hour lesson but it's 5.30 to 8.30pm?! walao. thurs another 3 hour lesson which starts at 2.30pm. thats all.... friday lesson end at 7! seriously tell me i have the worst timetable ever. screwed. lame birdz.

i need to do some research before gg to bed. damn damn super sian. goodnight ppl.

for the maybe hundredth time, 'cos tonight im loving you!!! haha.

PERMS NOT SPERMS

2011-01-18T01:05:00.005+08:00

OH MY HELLO!

2011-01-16T19:56:00.004+08:00

OMG! HELLO ALL! HAHAHA.

been so so so long. i know a few of you missed my pictures and posts! not like they're damn fantastic or anything but just for read! :)

21st party:

FIRST THING FIRST, I AM SO GONNA BE 21st IN A MONTH'S TIME! HOW AWESOME. and then 10 years will zoom past real quickly. okay whatever.

been troubling about the venue and all. damn annoying. really would love to book capella at sentosa. sucha fabulous resort. but it's so expensive and like i dont wish to waste $ on the place. neither do i want to have a crappy chalet. i cant stand all the dirt and insects. okay sorry for being pampered.

SO! i have decided to exploit my dad and uncle's property. HAHA! marina bay residences. the function room is on the 27th floor and the view is ZOMG. the MBS view. if only there was fireworks, it'll be right smack in front of your face. (maybe if chingay is on, maybe there'll be fireworks? maybe we'll see?? haha!) you have to be there to witness for yourself, really. i took pictures but i wont reveal it here. it's an extremely atas condo. (so please dress appropriately too) my aunt was like warning me not to spoil anything cos i paid deposit of 200 bucks. anything spoil, i've to pay. all in all, so happy, cos it's FREE. so much for being singaporean. haha.

the cake and buffet is more or less settled. just keep it simple. cos im lazy. i mean like actually 21 is just another birthday.

huiqi said i shld get more friends to help but im like ahhh i THINK i can settle myself. haha.

IF ONLY I HAD A BOYFRIEND TO SETTLE EVERYTHING FOR ME. BF = SERVANT.

so now im on my own. sigh, one thing that i feel awfully bad about is, i cant invite alot of ppl. alot of ppl are so called on the waiting list. shit. i told my aunt 30 friends, she booked the place. then huiqi said the place can fit 50. so now my list 60. AHH DEEP SHIT. i still have like 10-20 odd i wanna invite but cant.

SO PPL SPACE IS IMPT. PLEASE RSVP IF YOU HAVENT. THANKS. IF NOT I WILL DELETE YOU FROM IT. HAHAHA OK KIDDING.

21st presents:

BLACKBERRY PHONE? IPAD? SO EXPENSIVE RIGHT? I KNOW. SEMI-PRO CAMERA? ALSO EXPENSIVE.

HOW. IDK.

i cant have anymore shoes, bags, clothes as presents. cos my mom will kill me. and anyway currently im happy w my stuff. i dont need more stuff cos i alr have everything i want.

the only thing i can think of that's mini and compact is jewellery eh. bracelet necklace ear studs etc.

OH OKAY. maybe sth from marc by marc jacobs :) any jewellery pieces or bags. laptop case? i love their stuff.

or maybe some special camera. those that you buy for fun and special effects. (okay iphone apps make them seem stupid actl. spoil market cos iphone can create all the effects)

does that help? honestly cant think of anything i need. but you know what. if you're coming alone and you brought nth but a cake/brownie, sth that you baked, i'll be super touched. i think i still love presents that are made by hand, from the heart. really. if i receive baked food on top of presents, I WILL MELT, totally on the spot. need some lovin'.

school

just started sch for a week. and im honestly still not used to the culture and stuff even after one sem. shell told me she once heard someone say ppl who come to lasalle are weird. like OMG? i dont wish to be one of them. i mean weirdos. i changed class this sem to my fashion management specialism and i realised, I FEEL WEIRD. out of the place. like i have no friends :/ boy, why like that. zz.

lessons. i feel like im studying same thing over and over again. research, design development, mock ups, final design, prototype, etc etc. sigh idk. i just hope for a really good job after i graduate.

timetable is screwed. quite disorganized and it's still changing. i only have a two hour lecture every monday? boy kill me please.

group work is freaking me out cos i havent got to know THEM better. and i've hear alot of bad stuff about them and im so afraid they'll stab me from behind. AHHHHH WHAT THE HECK. thank god i have shell at least. thank god.

club&parties

when i was home last night, it struck me that i feel so lonely whenever night falls. and parties, they keep me alive, breathing, occupied and happy. i cant think, and that's good. i have fun and yeah im laughing the night away like crazy. when i reach home, i hit the bed and to dreamland i go. so tired so fun. i dont need to think. i like that feeling.

i noticed a drastic change in my attitude. but you know, i cant be bothered anymore. cos life made me the way i am. i dont wanna take control anymore. im tired. think what you guys wanna think.

that night pbff said to me "it's so hard to make you do wrong at clubs". indeed. but who knows the full picture? maybe only pbff cos he was there. to everyone who judge when they dont know a single shit, oh *. i mean that's human nature but be fair to everyone. at least try.

to the worst, im good.

to the good, im bad.

speechless. shant say more.

dreams, NIGHTMARE

i swear its so freaky. after years i still see you in my dreams. and why are you still in them. please dont bother me anymore? i wake up, not feeling regretful or upset, but afraid and disgusted. stop haunting me? i dont wish to wake up on first day of sch to see sth so ridiculous. the more i say the more mean i'll get. so, just stop stalking, hearing, seeing, reading me. that's the last i'd ask of you.

YOU

yoz ppl so in conclusion, still ask me out. purely schooling is boring. will wanna see everyone of you every now and then. watch movies and go on shopping and eating dates w me please please please. cos im a girl without boyfriend. how sad. okay so text me naoooo! :)

perfect

2010-12-11T15:22:00.002+08:00

i try so hard, to be the perfect person. but it's just not me. i cant be perfect, at least in my eyes im not perfect.

for now, perfect to me is:

1. good at studies eg. getting into good uni

2. happy and rich family eg. driving a car

3. super enthu friends eg. always hanging out

4. pretty eg. skinny w nice complexion

okay those are my wishes basically. apparently some can still be realise, but some never.

WHY AM I SO GREEDY? >:( sigh.

btw im only using comp like once in a long long while? like once a wk. yeah.

ANYWAY ITS ZOUKOUT SO I SHLD BE HAPPY? byez.

weird

2010-12-04T19:06:00.026+08:00

are you acting weird or am i thinking weird. it feels so weird again suddenly halfway through. blah. dont know if you feel the same. i want to put them as words across to you, but it's so hard. never been, now it is, and guess it'll always be from now on. is there no way out?

was at ubin w irving just now. woke up at 7.30! omg. this is insane. well it's a pretty bad day to cycle, honestly speaking. the rain got heavier and stopped, then after while drizzle and stopped, then heavy rain -.- so half the time we were cycling in the rain. but there's a few nice scenic spots which was damn nice to chill. damn breezy. its like i dont even feel like moving after settling down. then we did some lame stuff like finding seashell, taking photo w plants, and trying to fix some wheat plant on my bike, and competing to see whose eyes are bigger, etc. it was damn tiring for my legs cos i went gym ytd -.- okay damn stupid.

irving and i had this awful chicken rice along thomson road. trust me, it's awful!!!! yikes. okay anw, was craving for yogurt but ended up eating brownie and ice cream and apple strudel. so awesome! okay sinful :( i should refrain.

so got home and im not gonna have dinner. will relax and rest my legs for now.

can you see those black shits on the rock?

i thought they were stones but no. they were SNAILS?! eew.

this part of ubin is pretty cos the water is so calm and it's BLUE! couldnt believe my eyes.

then irving have to push me to this big fat huge ass lizard at the railing. seriously gross.

pretty seashell :)

whose eyes are bigger?

mine's bigger here :D

why cant i have TYR shorts? -.-

you wont have enough of this

cutie barnacles hahahaha

oh oh can you spot the crab. it can camouflage damn well!!!

the mighty wheat

hehehe on my hair but it blends in w the background

irving and me, duh.

byebye ubin!

retail therapy

2010-12-03T16:36:00.005+08:00

ohman, i realised i've been rotting at home for days once again. hmmmm, okay not rly. but still, zzz.

monday i met eunice for easy A. and then to timbre w wz and dajie. as usual we ate a hell lot of food. like 2 pizzas, some fish, and buffalo wings. it was damn good. and we had quite abit of fun. been a long time i guess. miss the whole lot of them :(

tues i stayed home. wanted to bake cookies. but there wasnt much ingredientst to bake. so yep. next wk! so went down to gym and stupid rain. it just wont stop. so i didnt manage to swim.

oh btw i booked the pit for 26th alr. :) small gathering. kinda weird but who cares luh huh.

wed i went back to chong pang w my mommy. paul once again ask on the wrong day. i was at saf yacht club for dinner and bottle tree neck and woodlands waterfront. pretty nice place which looks quite similar to marina barrage in some aspect. and i seriously think it would be good if sembawang had some chalets too. wont need to travel all the way to the east. so annoying.

thurs met ade. okay did sth real stupid. and im only doing it cos its ade. like seriously. stood there for 3 hrs plus. my legs nearly died. damn tiring. but the shopping after that was cool :D hahaha tampines.

fri, boy im home again. wanna get out but there's nth to do? ade coming over to gym w me later :)

tmr im gg to ubin. hopefully. okay i sound like some noob but i havent been there. cycling will help me shed some fats. goody :)

really really wish i was still 18 :( now im down to 2 friends whom i can count on.

hehe, but honestly irving's rly sweet. like i said i wanted my mom to get me tiffany & co. necklace, he said "why not i gather ppl to buy that for you, so you could ask your parents for a party instead." HAHAHA. then next moment he's busy surfing the tiffany & co. website. and he said he would send me the images but apparently its not in my inbox -.-

i went to the website and found this super awesome necklace. OMG. read the description. im gonna get my mom to buy me this :D so pretty & unique!!

i like the kate spade bag!!! so awesome. will find my way to get it from US. heard from all my gfs it's cheaper to get from US.

okay superficial much. but i think only retail therapy can make me happy.

hey

2010-11-27T02:01:00.002+08:00

hello you. my cousin, ade, and all my dearest friends who has always been reading this blog w/o voicing out here.

anw i've reached a point in life, when i realised we shld not live so much for others, or rather we shld live for ourselves. it's only logical and realistic for anyone in this world to do that. and honestly im so tired about this [everyone is going, but end up pulling out one by one] thing. and i get so disappointed and frustrated countless times over ppl who give false hope. which is quite pointless.

like i told kok that day we went club. hc. heck care. fc. fuck care. dulanz.

i learnt that we shld live for ourselves. and what matters most is that we are happy. of course we're all afraid of regretting the decisions we made. but whats life w/o regrets? it's just how we look at it. why should we force ourselves/others to do things we/they do not like?

for example: my friends' mom loves us going to their place. and she cooks for us without complaints. like very nice hospitality. but my mom? i honestly couldnt understand why she wasnt like other moms. she hates it when ppl come to our house. and i mean it. esp when i said for her to cook for my friends. she has like strong objections.

why is my mom like that?

so over lunch i talked to my mom nicely. like i said sth quite insensitive i realised. i asked her why she couldnt be like other moms. why is she so different. why cant she cook for my friends. then she went on to say its not her responsibility to cook for my friends. and she hates cooking. she only cooks because its her responsibility of a mom to cook for children. anything more, she wont do. and she asked if i've thought in her shoes, like im troubling her. cos shes not young anymore, yet i request for her to cook for my friends. (make herself sound so poor thing)

i was almost close to tears. cos yes, she made a point. cos maybe other moms like to cook, but she HATES IT. and it's just not her character to BE NICE TO OTHER PPL WHO ARE IRRELEVANT TO HER. she cant make the sacrifice. it's just her. she doesnt like it. that's all.

well she's my mom. i took quite sometime to understand her. but at least now i see it from her point of view. so i respect her liking to cook as least as possible.

same for my dad, he is not v helpful to irrelevant ppl.

why are ppl so realistic? why cant they be nice? what makes them think that the world wont treat them the same?

i dont know.

but now on, i will live for myself. as much as i've said so, i'll still try my best to give all out, if you're worth every effort i put into the friendship. even if the whole world said i was stupid, i would do the same. cos they are friends whom i know i can keep till the end.

homie for 4 days..

2010-11-24T17:33:00.003+08:00

life seems to be rather stagnant for now.

been home for 4 days straight. yesyes unbelievable right? BUT YES. I WAS HOME SINCE SUNDAY.

monday i practically did nth other than to laze around watching tv. shioks.

tuesday i did the same. but i went supermarket in the morning w mom to shop for groceries. the fridge is rly empty manz. so i made my mom spent 200 bucks on groceries. and she's making a big fuss cos she normally only spent 50 bucks on veggies and fruits. HAHAH. okay sorry but that's the good thing about gg to e supermarket w my mommy :D

i got:

1. 2 buckets of b&j ice cream :) i've yet to eat them tho cos im on diet HAHA. choc cookie dough & strawberry cheesecake. awesomeness LOVE THEM.

2. SARA LEE CHOC CAKE. THIS IS SEX.

3. GLUTINOUS RICE BALLS (PEANUT) - MY ALL TIME FAV DESSERT

4. MOO MOO COW CUBE CHEESE. so nice & cheesy luh.

5. microwave pop corn!

6. SNACKS & MANY MORE

HAHAHAHA all kinds of random junk food you can think of. im sick tho :/ but it's okay. yi du gong du :)

and i went to gym. im on diet and yes i need to lose weight. i ran and cycled in the gym for an hour? HAHAHA only ran for 12 mins tho :( too tiring. AND IRVING HAVE TO TELL ME I WILL GET PUENOMA COS I WENT TO EXERCISE WHEN IM SICK. AIYA DIE LA DIE LA LET ME DIE :(

I SWAM 3 LAPS. hahaha okay so retarded. then i was reading vogueee. this remind me, i wanna buy the fred perry one soonzx at kino.

really chillax. wanted to bake but i made my mom angry by dropping the butter on the floor LOL! so yes as usual she made a bigggg fuss outta it once again. so i dare not ask if she wanna bake anything.

hmmm seems like i figured that nobody will be free from mon-wed. tendency is ppl will be mia. like busy w their studies, exams, or even work, and army. so like, having not many friends who are in the same stage of life w you, like for example at lasalle. makes it worst. oh well... why huh. it's so difficult to meet. then thursday, everyone starts to come alive.

for example. thursday i agreed to go out w ade cos it's her last day of exams. then again, wenzhen wanted to go for this marketing talk at 7pm so i pushed ade's to fri. and then the sch has to inform us last min, the interview is on thursday.

so thursday: interview at 2pm. marketing talk at 7pm.

and paul wanted to give me his whole saturday. but again i cant. (why must everything fall on saturday?!) then he asked if IT fair is tmr and whether i wanna go w him if it is tmr. but, I CANT. grrrrr.

then fri is pretty much safe. w the facial session and ade. all planned nicely :) MOVIE PLEASE. i cant have enough of them.

me spending 407bucks on facial:

mom kept nagging....

me:"you dont want me to get married meh? thought you want me to get married very badly.."

mom:"never spend dont get married nvm, spent already dont get married HOW? even worst"

what a cute mom i have.

oh god tmr's the specialism interview but idk what portfolio to bring. HOW?!!!! OMG. this is so retarded. what do i bring for management?!!! my result is not even out yet. frustrating. at least stuff like textiles, communication and design they have their files to show. management? show them ppt slides meh? zz.

i hope i'll be seeing more of my ij girlfriends after their exams. guess i've been missing out alot on their lives. i think im stupid. i dont know how i landed myself here, whilst my girlfriends are all in uni. ohwell. sucks to be me.. im too lazy. i only have myself to blame. maybe getting stuck in ntu might not be a bad thing.

HOLIDAY TRIPS. HOLIDAY TRIPS.

-DAJIE WANNA GO TAIWAN W EUN, AND WZ, AND THE DXPD JUNIORS IN MAY/JUNE.

-HUIQI WANNA GO TAIWAN ALSO.

-KAY AND ZHIHAO ALSO.

taiwan so popular meh? haha. i havent been there before tho.

-I AM HOPING I CAN GO MANCHESTER NEXT YR MAY/JUNE TO FIND NICOLE. YESYES DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE MENTIONED THIS. BUT IM DYING TO GOOOOO. (i hope huiqi earn enough to go w me. sigh.)

-LASALLE FRIENDS WANNA GO BALI/INDO. FOR REAL? IDK.

okok im just stuck in sg for now. shant complain. goodbyez.

what a bitch

2010-11-21T14:31:00.003+08:00

YESTERDAY:

1. ME BEING SUCHA BITCH - phone 23% batt life

i made my gf waited for an hour ytd. what a awesome friend i am. but honestly, i thought she could've joined shella cos shella was there since afternoon. and apparently they told me g was gg. so by right there shld be ppl there w her. but NO. okay my bad. she sounded rly pissed.

2. ME BEING SUCHA FICKLE-MIND - phone 20% batt life

i didnt feel like gg to club cos i felt abit sick. so i called eevann. hoping he would cheer me up a lil. he said he just thought of me and the next moment i called. he's full of bullshit -.- but it didnt help anyway. he even sent a photo image to show me he's playing poker w his family. what a family guy. so obviously i cant blame him. so to club.

3. ME BEING PURE STUPID - phone 15% batt life

the throat obviously tells me that im not that well, and freaking pizzas i had for dinner, i can still taste them in my nose/throat right now. YES NOSE.

4. ME BEING EVEN MORE STUPID - phone 10% batt life

i waited for pbff for like an hour? i think this is karma. i just sat at the bus stop alone staring into space, watching ppl walk past. and that guy, he forgot about time and was watching soccer. too tired to be angry.

5. ME TRYING TO ACT LIKE A SAINT - phone 5% batt life

told mardy that pbff had a guest list and since she was at yellow jello, she could join me. we drank at the bridge and went to arena.

6. ME BEING SUCHA BIMBO - phone 3% batt life

i freaking wore a 3 quarter skirt to club. how awesome. but thing is i didnt wanna stay for long initially. no mood :(

7. ME BEING AN EMOTIONAL GIRL - phone DIED.

i felt like crying out loud on the cab back home cos the cab driver went the route HE used to speed to get me home. like what the hell am i thinking right????!!!!

FML.

but okay, feeling slightly better today. still sick in the nose/throat tho. gonna think of what to wear for grandparents' bday dinner later. goodbye.

STOP BELIEVING

2010-11-20T16:01:00.003+08:00

HAHAH. nice huh. good job shihui. meeting the girls at 5 but you're still on your bed in front of the macbook. nice one.

well, for some reason, i cant be bothered to be on time. maybe cos i know they wont. everytime we say to meet, we're never informed the day before. it's always the morning before it happen. i reached home and lie in bed at 4am thinking WOAH SO ARE THEY MEETING TMR. and then mardy always reply first, or meiyen. then siwei will reply a few words. then shella always last to reply. then subsequently ppl will start saying they cant make it or someone is joining. like.. okayyyy... nice. whatever.

maybe that's the reason why. and i have this feeling. i prolly wont meet them often after this.

i think this single lady here need to pick up a new skill. like pole dance. just to occupy myself. im soon gonna get sick and tired again of this mundance routine. of ppl saying yes then pulling out last min. I-HATE-IT.

okay and my bed time sit-ups only lasted one night. i forgot last night. i need to get nice abs before zouk out and ya it's high time to really lose weight. been eating non stop. like feasting. this is bad.

sigh. i need something to happen, i need something exciting to happen in my life. i keep watching those hk shows, which features damn alot of hot guys and girls and those so-called perfect personas, i swear you can never believe them. they are all lies. after experiencing for yourself in real life, (unless you're so lucky) you stop believing in fairy tales and happy ending. cos they dont exactly exist in real life. dont you think so?

so i think it's quite good to be a teenage girl tho. (im outgrowing that soon) they watch all the idol dramas and it's like WOAH OH AHHHHH... but they are never that true when it comes to reality. they just make everything seem so perfect and they make you believe in them cos you wish to be them. but truth is, NO. THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. EVEN IF THAT IS, CHANCES ARE MAYBE 0.1%? so dont be drama queen. it's not healthy.

but then again, i might want to be. cos i cant get them in reality. i hope i drown myself in those shows. so much so i forget the world and everyone.

wont that be the perfect ending to sorrows and worries. cheers.

k i cant be that bad. gonna prepare. buaiz.

thoughts

2010-11-19T02:57:00.002+08:00

omg the last crush i had is suddenly so fresh in my mind once again. omgggg.. i am stupid. why cant i stop talking?

my grandparents are having their bday celebration at some restaurant this sunday evening. there goes my carol singing. its nth compared to the dinner, just that i feel bad to pull out last min :(

yay yay yay think im partying this sat :D

pbff says he hate to say it but he miss partying w me. how nice is that :) seems like he's getting to know a gd deal of ppl. which includes vip for zouk out :D HAHAHA SO EXCITED. the thought of seeing good looking ppl alone turns me on alot and i mean ALOT.

yeah im superficial just like that. how? fuck care luh.

ernest 21st bday next sat and im gg w rayson :) sian needa think of what present to get!

next sun meeting eunice wz and dajie. cant wait to rly catch up! wz enjoying life in bkk nowww...

ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS YOU: FREEDOM + JOY + HAPPINESS, ... SINGLEHOOD HAHAHAH!

THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD

2010-11-18T14:24:00.018+08:00

HELLOOO..

like when have i ever like reading huh.

hmmm.. should i perm my hair?

LAST NIGHT.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I AM HAPPY GIRL. FEELS SO GOOD TO BE PARTYING AFTER MY ASSESSMENT WEEK. HOHOHO. NOW I FEEL STRESS FREE AND I AM A GIRL W ALL THE FREEDOM I CAN HAVE ON EARTH. WOOHOO!!! NOTHING BEATS THIS. LIKE X A MILLION :D

to all out there who's still having their exams and stuff, all the best :) you can enjoy when you're done, like me :)

hehehe. i cant stop smiling to myself. now i feel tired, tired from all the happy pills :) been playing real hard.

the thing about me, i hate to come online. so when i have the chance to not even switch on my computer, i will not on. HAHAHA. cos to me, computer = assignment. so goooodbye internet social network. im going on holiday. unless im posting up pictures. (my fb is rather stagnant these days)

ppl, just text me oooohkay :) oh oh or twitter. but it's quite annoying cos the 3G thing, it burns your battery life. and i mean BURN. hahah.

KNOW WHAT. MY CAMERA TOTALLY GAVE WAY THAT DAY COS I

SOAKED IT IN UMBRELLA WATER :(

BEFORE I EDIT:

AFTER:

anw, this was from ray's bday meal.

LAST THURS.

ZHI HAO TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE HER EAT..

still.. FAIL.

HAHAHA.

LAST FRI.

think wearing dresses like this makes me look older. HA HA HA.

LAST SUNDAY.

isnt as good as it seems to be.

2010-11-13T13:51:00.006+08:00

last wk insanity got into me

i went to zouk.

but i swear i look like one depressed kid.

if i could hug anyone as tightly, i would nv let go.

that's if.

BTW,

DO I LOOK THAT YOUNG?

wednesday i took a cab to sch

cos i was rushing late for submission

then the uncle being curious about lasalle

asked, "so you can go lasalle after sec sch?"

"yes uncle..but btw i graduated from poly"

uncle in shock, "WA! I THOUGHT YOU ONLY 15 YEARS OLD."

"no uncle i alr graduated from poly, so im 20 this yr"

"WA. I THOUGHT YOU MAX LIKE... 16 ONLY"

i was hoping for at least 18 -.-

ZOMG. FAINTS. so when i was in poly, i look like pri sch kid isit...

okay seriously need to dress like a WOMAN already.

if not there'll be a 3rd cab driver who says i look like sec 2, or sec 3.

zzzzzzzz.

HEHE.

2010-11-13T12:48:00.001+08:00

counting down.

2010-11-13T12:26:00.002+08:00

thurs

out w zhihao kathe nydia and reb. sheesh. zhihao failed 3 times but it's okay we'll forgive him :) still love you. hahahah. it was a day full of food, shopping for nydia's present and more food.

fri

i practically eat, watch tv, nap, eat, watch tv, nap. HAHAHA. omg i cant believe it. so shiok. and watched mega mind w irving and stacey. hahah. was trying to persuade irving to go zouk out too. hehehe. stupid gong cha wasnt that nice as the first time i tried and i missed the first part of mega mind cos of that. pure stupidity.

sat

woke up to realise that i havent book the pit. to my horror, the pit is being booked and theyre having catering so there was no way we could have a BBQ. sorry girls :( then i guess they're still coming to swim and hmmm maybe shopping or party after that.

OMGGGGG SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO. SHOULD I JUST DIE. REB'S BF GAVE A VVVVV GOOD SUGGESTION. BUT, PRETTY MUCH A SELFISH OPTION TO ME. COS IM NOT THAT NICE A GIRL.

HOWWWWWWWW.

reality

2010-11-10T20:08:00.002+08:00

now that i met all deadlines, back to reality.

what should i do? sigh i kinda dont want and dont feel like.

i think i know what to do.

it's just like i would love to be a christian but i dont wanna go church every sunday. cos i know i cant commit.

that's all.

i think im a screwed up girl and i do mind how others think about me. for all the negative thoughts about me, i feel like hiding away from the world. i dont wanna listen to them or even feel them.

on a side note, i wanna meet everyone this holidays THATS NO. 1 ON MY TO DO LIST :)

oh and second, I WANNA SHED SOME FATS. YEP.

time to pamper myself. gooooodbye.

o..m..gggg

2010-11-10T05:16:00.001+08:00

last night only slept for 3 hours.

now i havent slept for 24 hours -.- omg i feel like.. dying.

sigh.

sheeeesh.

2010-11-07T12:43:00.000+08:00

super bored can.

but i have to do work.

one word: sianzx.

MORNING SICKNESS AH?!

2010-11-07T04:08:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH STUPID.

Paul says: (AM 04:05:01)

did u just say dun need to act also pretty?

Paul says: (AM 04:05:01)

haha

Shi says: (AM 04:05:07)

HAHAHA!

Shi says: (AM 04:05:10)

OF COURSE.

Paul says: (AM 04:05:11)

since when u become so bhb?

Shi says: (AM 04:05:13)

-.-

Paul says: (AM 04:05:14)

u have really change

Shi says: (AM 04:05:19)

assignment sickness

Paul says: (AM 04:05:23)

what happen to u

Shi says: (AM 04:05:26)

eprived of outside world

Shi says: (AM 04:05:30)

*deprived

Paul says: (AM 04:05:34)

stop pushing everything to ur assigment

Shi says: (AM 04:05:39)

HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul says: (AM 04:05:42)

u are just bhb

Shi says: (AM 04:05:43)

SHUT UP N GO SLP

Shi says: (AM 04:05:46)

IDIOT

Paul says: (AM 04:05:52)

and now u scold me

Paul says: (AM 04:05:54)

how nice

Paul says: (AM 04:05:57)

!!!!!

Shi says: (AM 04:05:58)

i trying to do work

Shi says: (AM 04:06:01)

you kajiao me

Paul says: (AM 04:06:02)

hahahaha

Paul says: (AM 04:06:08)

i trying to cheer u up

Paul says: (AM 04:06:09)

Shi says: (AM 04:06:11)

haha

Shi says: (AM 04:06:12)

Shi says: (AM 04:06:16)

and start a quarrel

Paul says: (AM 04:06:18)

and help u unwine a bit

Paul says: (AM 04:06:21)

o pls

Paul says: (AM 04:06:31)

u just love to quarrel with me wat

Paul says: (AM 04:06:43)

forever

Shi says: (AM 04:06:44)

YA RIGHT!

Shi says: (AM 04:06:50)

YOU ARE THE ONE.

Paul says: (AM 04:06:55)

always bringing me to walk extra distance and all

Paul says: (AM 04:07:06)

then after u bring me walk extra distance

Shi says: (AM 04:07:11)

WHAT?! HAHA YOU CHECKED THE BUS DIRECTORY OK.

Paul says: (AM 04:07:16)

u still say i always complain

Shi says: (AM 04:07:17)

blame me -.-

Paul says: (AM 04:07:25)

it's ur house

Paul says: (AM 04:07:26)

not mine

Paul says: (AM 04:07:33)

or u get out of ur house now la

Paul says: (AM 04:07:39)

i go stay in ur room

Paul says: (AM 04:07:50)

then next time i sure tell u the right bus number de

Paul says: (AM 04:07:52)

confirm!

alone.

2010-11-06T20:20:00.005+08:00

alone on an island, always and forever will be.

lesson learnt: expect less = hurt less.

hate myself. last night sucked, big big time. place sucks, crowd sucks, music sucks. everything sucked luh huh. and i frigging paid 8 bucks for the bag deposit cos pbff went home w my tag. grr. and someone just have to text me to jeopardize everything to make my night worst. regret much, for gg.

ohwell. boo. wed please please come.

CAN YOU NOT..

2010-11-05T15:33:00.002+08:00

OMG CAN YOU GUYS NOT..

TEMPT ME TO GO OUT/CLUBBING.

I FEEL SO DEPRIVED, I SWEAR.

I WANNA GO CLUBBING, SHOPPING, SWIMMING, SUN TANNING, GYM-ING, WATCH MOVIES, BBQ, BUFFETS, SING K

...EVERYTHING!

THIS WED. THIS WED. THIS WED PLEASE COME SOON.

TILL THEN, CIAOS.

i'll be partying till dawn after wed.

i sidetrack abit

2010-11-04T21:42:00.019+08:00

OVERDUE PEEKTURES

YAY. MY NEW MACBOOK PRO PINK CASING :D

THE HAZE WEEKS BACK WHEN I STAYED TILL DAWN TO DO ASSIGNMENT.

WOOHOO.

TODAYS

HELLO ALL

LAST NIGHT i stayed up till 5plus near 6 to complete my fashion management report. wtf, i sat in front of the comp for near to 12 hours?!!! fmlfmlfml. like it almost drove me mad, i was walking in rounds screaming "AHHHHH....." OK IM MAD -.-

then i forced myself to wake at 8.30 to go for lecture. it was kinda stupid huh. cos the lecture only lasted like 1 hour -.- so retarded. wanted to meet elijah after 1, cos submission of essay is at 1.

but i managed to hand in after lecture and i had lunch. totally no appetite. ate like some grandma, super slow.

run some errands and i went to cityhall first. wthhhhh i hateeeee it. cos im buying random stuff again -.- while waiting for elijah.

the OPI colour is so pretty. and the salesperson so nice. how to refuse?

theres so many cute stationeries and theres this super pretty floral billabong bag which is so irresistable. ahhhhhhh i feel like buying now :( hate it...

WHY AH? WHY I ALWAYS GOT THIS URGE TO BUY STUFF. I THINK I NEED TO GO FOR COUNSELLING :(

went shopping w elijah and bought 2 rings? :/ this is bad.

SHIT WHY AM I SHOPPING WHEN IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING ASSIGNMENTS -.-

!@#$%^&*()

WHOOPSY

2010-11-01T23:47:00.002+08:00

omgomgomg. ty is enlisting tmr. and elijah is enlisting next mon!!! i havent met elijah for damn long. and i've got so much to tell him. shit im so caught up w work. :(

and this wkend. there seem to be so much activities coming my way. ernest bro bday, kahhui's asking me to go. and cindy suddenly text to say no ps-ing allowed for this fri clubbing. like HUH? they didnt even tell me anything.

then there's nydia baby bday celebration. was saying thurs. reb cant make it. then fri, but reb say i got work to do so maybe after my projects. but think we'll still have to meet sometime this wk luh huh.

shitshishit. why must it be this wk!!!!! :(

anyway that day irving say go ubin cycle. i told kenyon. he's like,

Shi says: (PM 11:41:42)

irving say go ubin cycle

Shi says: (PM 11:41:44)

HAHAHAHA

kenyon says: (PM 11:44:58)

YES FUN!

kenyon says: (PM 11:45:17)

But you sure cui one leh

kenyon says: (PM 11:45:19)

Hahaaha

Shi says: (PM 11:45:30)

...........

Shi says: (PM 11:45:34)

WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRR!

Shi says: (PM 11:45:39)

despise girls la

kenyon says: (PM 11:45:44)

Serious!

Shi says: (PM 11:45:47)

Shi says: (PM 11:45:49)

k lor

Shi says: (PM 11:45:53)

i dont go

Shi says: (PM 11:45:54)

yall go

kenyon says: (PM 11:45:57)

It's quite treacherous

kenyon says: (PM 11:46:00)

Hahahahaha

Shi says: (PM 11:46:00)

i stay at home

kenyon says: (PM 11:46:15)

Come la

kenyon says: (PM 11:46:24)

I carry you cycle k

kenyon says: (PM 11:46:26)

Hahahaha

Shi says: (PM 11:46:41)

HAHAHA

Shi says: (PM 11:46:45)

AWWWW.

Shi says: (PM 11:46:46)

OKAY.

ROFL. ACT YI GE LOR KENYON PHUA. TSK. HE IS HAPPY BOY COS HE IS ORD-ING ON THURS. SO GOOD!

kkk DID I MENTION I CANT WAIT FOR HOLIDAYS TO COME!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA. BYE! do work alr, then maybe can play on wkend ;P

HAIYA.

2010-10-29T23:24:00.003+08:00

walaoeh. like my sewing.. IS NOT DONE YET! im supposed to sew a blouse but it's taking me years. argh. i spent a day on that and i havent finish. fmlfmlfml.

tmr gonna do the stencil cut. the girls coming over to my poolside to do cut and printing. yepyep.

i got ccs essay and fm report. and i have this mag product page to do. i got textiles. fmlfmlfml. and i got v&p. fml even more.

i want to party but i cant. arghhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh FML.

my dad just smacked my ass from the back twice, thinking im my mom. wth -.- haha i thought it was my mom who smacked me. cute ah 2 of them. -.- they enjoy doing these kinda retarded stuff.

kkkk byebye.

THOSE SHOES ARE..

2010-10-28T21:13:00.011+08:00

THE SEX

TAKEN WITH TY'S AWESOME 5K CAM.

thoughts:

i think it's nice. eevann's inviting me to go to this ball w him. cos his gf is overseas. ahhahaha. like. so sweet luh. he tried to give excuses like nicole in uk, ah car in malaysia so he asked me. like im his last choice. HAHA then he said "kidding.. i thought of you next".

i think i like to be their best friend. eevann, clarence, elijah, paul, oli, irving, rayson, michael. they are all so awesome. even if they had a gf, even we've drifted; someday, sometime, i'll still rmb them all.

hohoho. taiyou's camera is awesome. even a lousy photographer like me can use auto like a pro. k tho some photos are not well-focused but still. love!

OH AND DID I TELL YOU, THE SONG IS AWESOME TOO. ENJOY!~ (irving was saying how a person like me dont look like i'll like this kinda song. it's bizarre tho. cos right up next is beautiful monster. i feel like i have spilt personality. HAW HAW HAW. but i told him, this is what you call, a balanced person. hehehe. bad yet good)

OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION. today mardy came to sch all teary. guess what: the boyfriend issue. i hate the way guys break a girl's heart. come on lah. dickheads shld just face it and speak the truth for god's sake, not be like some coward to avoid and lie? they're rly good at trying to be the good person who claim to have done nth to breakup. PLEASE. it's disgusting. and i almost forgot what happened until today. i shared my own experience with meiyen and shella. it was funny to think back. what could i have done w/o my friends and family back then?

but im kinda thankful too tho :) for that, i experienced and undergo the kind of pain which i would nv have known if i havent had one. haha. really. its like way before when i was a teenager, nth hurts like this. like i see puppies breaking up, i would always think why they do all the silly things they do. like, "breakup only mah? need to be so exaggerating meh?" now i know, i learn, i share.

part and parcel, they add to your knowledge and experience, it'll equipped you; life-long skills.

hope mardy will get over it soon.*

2010-10-28T02:03:00.001+08:00

ty says: (AM 02:01:06)

let me guess

ty says: (AM 02:01:11)

are u like

ty says: (AM 02:01:15)

posting on fb or sth

Shi says: (AM 02:02:04)

CAN YOU NOT KNOW ME SO WELL!!!!

Shi says: (AM 02:02:05)

HAHA

OMGGGGG. SMARTY PANTS.

aaahhhssshhh

2010-10-27T23:07:00.004+08:00

what the hell is this. when all you can think about every sec every min every hr is just assignment after assignment. nth else. even the thought of partying, the projects just kill everything. ya.

when i think back about how i used to cry over stress back in sp, it's retarded. cos its nth compared to this.

bye.

weird

2010-10-27T16:11:00.002+08:00

its weird how my skin actl starts to peel NOW, after 2 wks i got burnt -.- zzz.

OH MAN I WANNA PARTY THIS WKEND COS IT'S HALLOWEEN.

HOW HOW HOW :(

THERE'S SO MUCH WORK TO DO.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

HOW! :(

sigh. why.

i.want.to.party.lah.

fuckmylife :(